today I tried for a spring break inspired outing in Baltimore. but on my part it was a lame attempt at best. it started this morning listening to ABBA on last.fm and by putting on way too much eye makeup for a day look, but I was determined to make this outing work. it was already doomed from the start. so I pet a cute puppy on the way to the bus stop, and had to run like an idiot to catch the shuttle. everyone was crammed on that bus – sardines style, except it wasn’t a game for fun. and I was wearing my red dr. Kissinger glasses and a boy who was also wearing strange glasses was making eyes at me. when we got to penn station he got off the bus, and low and behold he had a short girlfriend attached at his hip. just because she is too short for her to see you making eyes at me without you getting in trouble it doesn’t make it okay alright. geez. for her or me.
but then I got off the bus at mt. Vernon and went to go to my favorite place to window shop and I contemplated going inside, but they weren’t open yet, and I don’t think I was fancy enough to go inside. so I went to a bead shop instead to try and recreate my most awesome camel earrings that I once made and foolishly gave to ashlee. but they had nothing camel related, and I was asking questions to the shop keeper and we were speaking two different languages even though they were both English if you know what I mean. and the shop keeper and this horrible customer kept going on about their dogs. okay, must love dogs, I get it. but I have a dog that has enough of his own charms that I don’t need to hear about yours til I am blue in the face. TMI. seriously. and what’s even worse is that I had my backpack, and I had to check it at the store counter and I didn’t buy anything and I had to ask for it back and I felt obligated to give the shop keeper a reason as to why I didn’t buy anything, so I said, “next time, I will come better prepared….ha ha……” it was a half truth. If I ever go back I will be better prepared…but I have no future plans to go back to the store.
I was starting to feel faint, because I needed to eat, so I went to a coffee/book shop that I have always labeled as, “the witches coffee shop” because there is a cartoon picture of a lady in the store’s sign and she totally looks like a witch to me. I had never been before, and guess what, I wasn’t missing out. everyone in that store had weirdy disease, and I was the only one who didn’t, and I definitely felt like the wrong one to be in the shop. and I’m thinking to myself, “sorry I didn’t know this shop was only for people with weirdy disease” I should have known because I have always thought of it as a witches coffee shop, that it was weirdies only. but in the words of tracy morgan as tracy Jordan on 30 rock, “freaky deekies need love too”. and I got a bagel there, let’s just say, nothing to write home about. oker.
After this I was ready to go home. I was out for a total of an hour and a half, and then ready to go home. So I waited for the bus at Penn Station, and now I am home. But seriously what is wrong with me? Wanting to be home after an hour and a half….geez?
I must say that I am okay doing stuff by myself, but I am always by myself, I guess what I am trying to say is that I miss having people around. I miss being able to go to the grocery store with Elizabeth whenever we felt like it. I guess I miss being able to decide when I did or didn’t want to be by myself, instead of now – when I am always by myself, without the option of being able to call someone to say “do you want to come do this thing with me?” I don’t have that person here. why have I only ever been able to make friends with foreigners? and really, all I want is to go dancing, and it isn’t safe to go dancing by myself. I know that, and it breaks my heart, because all I ever want is to go dancing. hard life. every time I have an opportunity to go dancing with anyone else, I know that they will be getting inebriated and that is no fun if you are always the only sober one.
I am not trying to be a lil debby downer cake…but I guess I was just really looking forward to having a spring break. instead it has just been me working and sleeping and trying to clean my apt. I have been eating out less, so that is good, and I am also trying out vegetarianism again. it’s not that I will refuse to eat meat, I just will eat more like our friend Veronique, so what I really mean, is like a swiss person. Yesterday all I did was clean some, and watch movies. I watched “Russian dolls” starring my husband, Romain Duris, and “The Wrestler” which was everything Ashlee described it to be. The thing about Russian dolls, is that I never knew what the title of the movie meant, until the very end of the movie when he explains it, and then I was like “oh, he means stack dolls” I had no idea the entire time. thinking it was like the new York dolls or something. or it was a movie about dating girls from Russia. but he just meant stack dolls. is that just what we call them in my family? or do other people call them stack dolls also? I have no idea.
I have been listening to Benjamin Biolay upon the recommendation of my fake French boyfriend, Tom (he is really French, he’s just not really my boyfriend), and it is really great. But I think it is a bit like when you are listening to Elliot Smith for days, and you think to yourself, “why have I been wanting to die all of the sudden?” and then you realize, “oh I have only been listening to Elliot Smith, that’s why”. Except I don’t know what this crazy frenchie, Benjamin Biolay, is saying, but that is the feeling that I get. Like, “Melissa, why am I so sad?” There are two answers, 1 because every song just reminds me of how un-french I am, and 2 because the music just radiates autumn and sadness. It can’t help but make me a little bit sad. Geez.
pictures from my fake trip, see you next fake fall.


i wasn’t trying to make a model pose, that is just how my face looks when i am waiting for the bus.
my most dramatic hair.
