i feel like i have no control over….anything in my liz-ife.
i don’t know what to do except keep going and try to get things manageable?
i will keep trying, i guess that’s all that i can do.
suit up and show up. am i right ladies?!?!?!
i don’t know if anyone else has this problem that isn’t a member of my family, i think people that don’t know me think that i am quiet and reserved or something, and then a rap song will come on or a mariah carey jam. and of course i will know all the words and i will start being zany and then it’s curtains for anyone ever taking me seriously again, or being received as anything but the court jester of the group.
dance monkey dance.
but i keep it going because, i guess i would rather be thought of as the clown of the group instead of not being thought of at all?
i don’t know what i am supposed to do.
it’s like when i worked at that camp and i would dance with the 7 year old girls, and they loved me, and i loved them, and then the head girls counselor told me that i wasn’t allowed to dance anymore because the girls were getting too excited to dance with me that they wouldn’t really eat their meals and then they were too excited afterwards.
could i just dance with them where they could want to finish their meals and then be calm later? not possible. i only have extremes and nothing in between. so i decided i wouldn’t dance anymore, and then the cha cha slide comes on and all is supposed to be forgiven? i don’t think so. you can’t tell me that i can’t dance, and then that rule doesn’t apply when the cha cha slide is on. alright.
i think that is why i have such a hard time being “social” because i am too extreme.
but baby i was born this way.
please keep my family in your prayers right now. we are in troubled waters and we will take all the prayers and positive thoughts we can get.
my preceptor keeps telling me i am meant to be a pediatric nurse.
i never knew.
i thought labor and delivery was where it was at for me….but i guess i just can’t get enough of those babes.
it’s okay. hopefully i will just be able to get A job and then get picky about where i want to be after i have experience because at this point i really have no say in the matter.
i keep getting spanish patients and i couldn’t be more thrilled, and not like i can even speak spanish or anything…but i am learning and it is really great, and i love them so much and every chance i get to speak with a spanish patient i leave knowing more than i did coming in, and for that i am SO GRATEFUL!
i go into the patient’s room with like 1 kajillion different books, and i carry around the heaviest backpack just in case i might have the chance to have a spanish patient so i will have all the necessary resources to communicate with them. yo soy loca.
and even though my ability to speak spanish is very limited in our nursing notes it says that i am a bilingual resource. i got so excited!!!! maybe one day i can really be one….a girl can dream. right ladies?!?!?!
someone asked me if i ever wore makeup. which was pretty embarrassing for me, how can you make someone that thinks they look like a trash can all the time feel like they look even more like a trash can? ask them if they ever wear makeup, and then ask them if they are a tomboy when they are in their 20s, because they don’t wear jewelry. just in case you are wondering, that is how. oh and also if they decide to wear makeup for once because they are tired of associating themselves with a trash can, and you ask them, “oh you are wearing makeup today. is today a special occasion or something?” it still promotes a self identity of a likeness to a trash can.